In Hebrew, the words for man and woman are full of meaning:
אִישׁ (Ish – Man)
אִשָּׁה (Ishah – Woman)
Both share the letters א (Aleph) and ש (Shin).
These two letters form the word אֵשׁ (Esh – Fire).
But each has one extra letter:
Man has י (Yud)
Woman has ה (Hey)
Together, י and ה spell י-ה, one of the holy Names of HaShem.
The teaching is simple yet profound:
Without י-ה (the Shechina of G-d) you are left with only fire.
With י-ה, the fire becomes a source of warmth, light, and blessing.
The Torah Sources Behind This Idea
- Talmud, Sotah 17a:
“If husband and wife are meritorious, the Shechinah rests between them; if not, fire consumes them.” - Bereishit (Genesis) 2:24:
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cling to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” - Zohar, Part I, 49b:
“Man without woman is incomplete, and woman without man is incomplete, and together they are called one — only when the Divine is between them.” - Pirkei Avot 3:2:
“If two sit together and words of Torah are between them, the Shechinah dwells among them.”
Seven Ways to Keep י-ה in Your Marriage
- Pray together daily
- Morning: “HaShem, be within us today in our words, our thoughts, and our choices.”
- Night: “Thank You, HaShem, for this day together. Rest with us as we sleep.”
- Speak with kavod (respect)
- Say: “I hear you,” “Your feelings matter to me,” or “I’m grateful for what you shared.”
- Express gratitude
- Each night: “Today I appreciated when you _____. It made me feel _____.”
- Do chesed (acts of kindness)
- Quietly say while helping: “HaShem, help me serve my spouse with love, as I would serve You.”
- Learn Torah together
- Read one verse — e.g., “Behold, it is very good” (Genesis 1:31) — and ask: “What does this mean for us?”
- Make peace quickly
- “I’m sorry for _____. I want us to be close again.” / “I forgive you. Let’s move forward together.”
- Celebrate mitzvot as a team
- When lighting Shabbat candles: “HaShem, let Your light fill our home.”
- When giving tzedakah: “We give this with love, together.”
💬 Reflection:
Every marriage has fire. The question is whether it will be a fire that destroys or a fire that warms and gives light. Inviting HaShem into the relationship — through daily connection, respect, gratitude, kindness, learning, forgiveness, and shared mitzvot — transforms the flame into a lasting source of peace and blessing.
📖 Ancient wisdom, modern application: This teaching from our Torah and sages isn’t just about tradition — it’s about relationship health, emotional safety, and spiritual connection that fuels real love.
Mindy Morasha 