Photo by Dalia Rubenstein: Sunset over Zichron Yaakov, Israel
July 29 Journal Entry
I’m on 50 mg of Zoloft, and it’s been 11 days now. This morning for the first time in a while, I felt like smiling. I spent time with Ariella. Our conversations are always deep and meaningful, and I truly enjoy them.
Later, I took Dovid to the bus for his B’nai Akiva trip. Yesterday he went bowling with friends. It’s so nice that he has a chevra and a sense of belonging.
I keep practicing self love by taking my medicine, attending ACA and OA meetings, seeing friends like Stephanie and Pammy, getting movement and fresh air, doing deep breathing, prayer and meditation…
…surrendering to G-d, trying to know His will for me.
The w*r feels closer than ever. Ari told me that her boyfriend is on the Lebanon border, in a secret location without cell reception. He has to climb a hill to use his phone and talk to her. Last time, he cut his hand on a rock while climbing up the hill. Around midnight, he abruptly said he had to go and hung up. She hasn’t heard from him since, and her messages aren’t going through.
Because of the tragedy with the Druze children in the north by our enemies, things have suddenly changed. We are all waiting for the response.
For nine months these guys have been b*mbing the north (I check my Homefront Command app frequently).
There’s been no decisive response, and thousands of Israelis have been forced to evacuate from those northern communities. It’s the first time this has happened since Jews returned to our homeland after being expelled.
May G-d continue to be with us all. I feel His presence more than ever, on my walks, in the breeze, in the flowers. The universe is a loving place.
We aren’t here forever; it’s temporary, which is hard to fathom when we are seemingly finite beings in physical bodies.
But our souls always yearn for something higher. So we as Jews have a mission to connect Heaven and Earth. It’s not easy, but we can do hard things.
“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.” — Psalm 23:1-3
“Then the LORD your God will bring you to the land your fathers possessed, and you shall possess it. And He will make you more prosperous and numerous than your fathers.” — Deuteronomy 30:5
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