Our biggest struggles can become our greatest strengths.

By Mindy Rubenstein

Grief is an often misunderstood emotion. It’s not always the result of major life events like the Holocaust or Oct. 7. It can stem from smaller, seemingly insignificant changes and losses.

These feelings get trapped inside our bodies, lingering like visitors until we take the time to properly acknowledge them.

I have experienced grief in various forms, like the loss of my baby, of my four grandparents, the heartache of losing my dogs, and the complex grief of leaving behind the familiarity of the U.S. when making Aliyah.

Then hearing sirens and having to find shelter with my children.

There is personal grief, and grieving as part of the Jewish people. And there is inter-generatinal pain passed through us.

Even things like the end of a friendship or losing an object can cause grief and pain.

These moments stay with us, sometimes without our full awareness. Sometimes they can feel really bad. And resisting or avoiding them makes them seem worse.

Acknowledging grief takes courage. It requires us to pause long enough to feel our emotions. To greet them like visitors, and then allow them to keep moving.

If this wasn’t modeled for us, it may be natural to distract ourselves from our feelings with tasks like work, shopping, eating, or scrolling.

There’s no shame in this; it’s a common coping mechanism.

But we are stronger than we think we are, and we have the capacity to face and heal from challenges. We can even transform these feelings into something good.

Our biggest struggles can become our greatest strengths.

Sometimes, we need the help of a guide or a compassionate witness to help with our transformation process.

This support can come in many forms—through conversation, somatic practices like movement, or expressive activities like writing.

Writing, in particular, is a powerful tool for processing feelings. It provides a safe space to express our emotions and thoughts, helping us to organize and make sense of them.

And it doesn’t have to be perfect; the act of writing itself can be healing.

Even small acts of writing can lead to profound transformation, allowing us to move forward as our true selves with more energy and clarity.

If you’re struggling, whether from a major life event or smaller, everyday issues, know that it’s okay to seek help.

By giving your feelings and grief the acknowledgment they need, you can begin to heal and move forward with renewed strength and purpose.

Psalm 32:8 – “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”

—

Reach out to me. I’d love to help.

Mindy Rubenstein is a therapeutic writing guide specializing in Jewish trauma healing. With a master’s degree in communications and certifications in holistic healing, trauma-informed spiritual coaching, and over 25 years as a professional writer and coach focused on spirituality and Judaism, Mindy brings deep sensitivity and expertise to her practice.

She assists clients in gently expressing their experiences and emotions through writing, providing compassionate support, structured guidance, and spiritual insights. Integrating teachings from the Torah and Tanach, Mindy creates a safe and sacred space for healing, helping individuals navigate and transform personal and intergenerational trauma with sensitivity and wisdom.