Sometimes two people get married, and they’re both sick in different ways.
It’s not their fault. They’re both suffering from their own emotional trauma.
And their souls chose each other because they are the only ones who can really understand each other and heal each other.
But since they’re both in trauma, they can’t really connect. So their marriage becomes very difficult.
Because their trauma is married, not their souls. Read that again.
But the moment they can can identify this process, they can actually re-marry each other from a soul perspective.
And they’ll have the most incredible relationship in the world.
Because the only ones who can really understand each other is this husband and wife.
But it takes a lot of work, and unfortunately some people get divorced before they can do this. Or they die.
Or they just disconnect. They’re not physically divorced, they’re not legally divorced, but they’re emotionally divorced.
I heard this explained on a video clip from Rabbi YY Jacobson that my husband sent me. It’s so profound that I’ve watched it a dozen times.
In other words, God gave us exactly who we need to heal our own stuff.
As women we must first do major self-care. I used to rush out of the house and spend my day working and caring for others.
But then I started noticing how my teenage daughters would sit and do skin-care, delicately applying their various creams and makeup, and choosing the perfect outfit. Why was I not doing that for myself?
I’ve spent years doing internal self-care, putting in the effort to heal my stuff. But external care is important, too. I’ve started noticing how my body feels, if I’m nourished properly physically, mentally and emotionally.
Then we can show up in our relationships as the best version of ourselves.
How is your marriage? How is your mental or emotional health? Sit with yourself for a few minutes. Take some intentional breaths when no one is watching.
This stuff takes work, starting with baby steps, but it’s not impossible. And it’s the reason we are here.
“I have found the one whom my soul loves.” Shir Hashirim (Song of Songs) 3:4
Mindy Morasha 